FXFB 2019 Walk-Around | Buying My First Harley

A Lesson in Breaking Through Walls

*Shout out to Blogger for not deactivating this page after a decade of not being touched

I was on the road from September through December in 2010. There was no shortage of experiences to challenge my mental endurance. And having to face them alone added another layer of complexity; No camaraderie to share the uncertainty with, no laughing through it with some shared dark humor.  Just days and nights of riding alone at 80mph in sub-freezing temps, and more than enough moments on overpasses high in the snowing Lolo Forest of Montana, with signs warning of black ice. 

Each one of those signs offered an easy out. They were yellow symbols of respite in a warm bed, warmer weather, and not folding my bike into an icy overpass guardrail. Though, I never gave them more than a fleeting acknowledgment. I wasn't turning around, or veering off my course of cutting across the northern States to get to NYC. I instead found myself pinning the throttle wide open, opening my mouth behind my balaclava and releasing a guttural roar in unison with the bike's engine, until I'd make it to the other side of the overpass. I'd feel the tension dissipate as I broke through what felt like another wall in my path. In those moments I'd get flooded with endorphins and feel like a road warrior, and I looked... fucking ridiculous. Picture Kenny from South Park, but in black instead of orange, and bitching about not being able to feel his hands.

I digress. There are moments in life when the universe seems to remove a wall you've committed to breaking through. Maybe that wall is with finding a healthy way to navigate a divorce or breakup. Or showing up to a lengthy, intimidating interview for a higher-paying job. Or being brutally honest about what you expect from yourself, and want more of from the fleeting time we have here. What ever the wall is, when there's no other path you are willing to take other than breaking through it, even with the fear of not knowing what's awaiting you on the other side, I believe it's at those times the universe will reward that commitment. And the wall is gone.